on my way back/

the fifty stops made me ponder about my life

the first twenty four from pasir ris to jurong east was thinking it'l all be fine

just go. take some pics. hopefully you'd get chosen like the previous round and earn your well deserved pathetic pay for bearing with the horrendous scoldings you'v experienced then and you'll be one step closer to getting your burberry wallet.
how difficult can that be?




the twenty six stops back made me feel just o so foolish-

for being mummy's girl ever so often. not thinking about what i really wanted

it seems always the case.

what mummy wants, i give.

what mummy doesnt want, i'll do something about it

except for the fact that she agreed to let me try smoking. try, not getting addicted.


same mistake for coming into poly

while jc peeps are now looking back wishing they had enrolled in a poly instead.


i certainly dont blame mummy dear. she wants the best for me, that i know

but come to think of it, it's my life aint it.


i wished i had declined to attend the photoshoot.

damn bradley and the photographer

i swear you make me wana kick both your balls.


think modelling's all being pretty and FUN (like what they insist it'll be)

HELLO. it's more like the FUN - N + CK okk!

think again. it's tough shit

you get all the darn f shit from them for doing the right thing and the wrong things

o wells. they're always right? cos i'll get paid for it

hell with that man!


a qzn : what attire do you think of when i say of the word "trendy"

you think ' the in thing' n 'shi mao'


who the damn f would think it's executive wear?

and i got scolded for not bringing clothes that are for executive wear and you,bradley told me to wear 'trendier a bit hor'

o please get a wardrobe or the very least, engage a stylist for god's sake.

your excuse "company wana save money"

F the damn company.
making big bucks and you wana save on these kinda things


and dear photographer, for the countless times you said i looked soo childish and kiddy and not matured at all.

please get your facts right


i'm EIGHTEEN.


not some f thirty plus executive working woman like you want me to be

complaining about my hair and my fringe,

i clipped it up cos you wanted me to and i got scolded

my hair isnt those uber rebonded ones that stick to my face, and i get ticked off for that too?

come one man. you're just f jealous that i have hair and you dont, you damn baldy!


and so i left mid way through

seeing my cousin there made me breakdown like i never should

emotions just rushed through and tears kept trickling down my cheeks

makeup all ruined eyes so puffy. i didnt care

i just took my leave and had the longest stroll back to the mrt station







The path that I'm walking I must go alone

I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown

Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they

And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay







after much contemplation and asking soo many if i should cut my hair

i finally got it cut!

it aint bob nor real short

just shorter and dyed jet black knowing that mummy likes my long hair and the blonde part